Come Dine With Me - ' The Athenaeum Restaurant' London

I am always on the lookout for a new restaurant, all in the course of research - the type that involves finding a plush venue to woo the ladies with......and in doing so trying to avoid such a place that will inevitably lead to the 'de rigueur' phone call on a Monday morning from my bank manager, regarding my incalculable overdraft created in the last 48 hours, usually due to a lavish shin-dig of a weekend.

So when I heard the five-star Athenaeum in Piccadilly had just had a revamp I sort vengeance last Friday, as a result of another rather dire week at the 'orifice' - a seemingly all to familiar feeling of late!
My mobile, little black book and my plastic were now at the ready and fully charged!

I met my date outside Green Park tube station, a few minutes walk from The Athenaeum.
On arrival we were greeted by the suited and booted door stewards and the attentive waiting staff who took our coats.



We both indulged in a pre-dinner cocktail in the stylish bar (left) - all tasteful low slung red velvet seating with plenty of cushions and touches of vintage-style decor all around.
Delightful attention to detail.
I opted for a dry vodka martini, while my date had a 'Garden Of Eden' comprising apple vodka, fig, cranberry, peach liqueur and elderflower.
Both were made with panache and tasted superb.



We made our way through to the opulent restaurant(below right), designed so most tables nestle in a booth. My date's starter of Brixham Crab Salad served with a Golden Beetroot, Heritage Tomatoes and Tarragon Dressing (£11.75) was delightfully presented and my Diver Scallops served with Jerusalem Artichoke, Sweetcorn and Grapes (£10.50) was almost a work of art. It seemed a shame to disfigure it!


For our main courses my date ordered Pan Fried South Coast Lemon Sole served on the bone with Ceps, Caper and Parsley Butter (£28.00), whilst I opted for Smokey Hay Baked Venison served with Cheltenham Beetroot and Roasted Figs with Vanilla Sauce (£24.00).

We also shared three sumptuous side orders of: Sweet Stewed Pumpkin, Roasted Field Mushrooms, grilled with rock salt and Hand Cut Chips.

We washed it down with a lovely 2007 Chablis vino (£37.50).

Following coffee we then returned to The Bar for an aperitif. The bar's extensive list including a choice of 270 different whiskies proved a real talking point - one of them was £150 for a double! (In my head I could hear the cutting voice of my bank manager). We instead opted for a couple of Vanilla Mojito's.

As Oscar Wilde once said, "Work is the curse of the drinking classes."


'The Athenaeum Restaurant' is located on: 224 Piccadilly, London, W1J 7BJ
Nearest tube: Green Park.
Breakfast Menu: 7.00-11.00 Mon to Sun.
Restaurant Menu: 12.30-14.30 & 17.30-22.30 Mon to Sun.
Tel no: 020 7499 3464
Web address: http://staging.ralphtrustees.com/Athenaeum/food__whisky.aspx

Bars: They ply you with liquor, they take your money & then they kick you out!

Excessive consumption of alcohol will ultimately get you drunk.........a pretty simplistic, visionary assessment made by my goodself, I am sure you will all agree.

As the Government bring up the habitual 'binge drinking' monthly debate, an alcohol concern organization are probably at the same time raising concerns regarding the price of booze in supermarkets, whilst a Doctor somewhere releases his latest dissertation on 'drinking in moderation' & a local council witters on that 'happy hours' in certain establishments are irresponsible.

I cannot possibly be the only person who feels bar owners & their employees, whether they be managerial sorts, bar staff or doorman alike have a responsibility themselves to look after their clientele & it's about time they acknowledged that fact sooner rather than later. They should stop believing they are above & beyond the law when it comes to the consumption of alcohol by any individual in a..........well 'licenced' drinking establishment actually!


How is it then that as long as you can reach into your pocket, grasp hold of some legal tender & order a drink in a semi-coherent manner you are then allowed to continue to do so over & over again - until you reach the point where you have your collar felt as you find yourself being escorted out of the licensed premises by some meat-head, wearing a black suit, a crisp white shirt and depending on the repute of the establishment, possibly even a dickie bow too.


Now I am not going to try & justify the drinking of alcohol to excess to anyone, either from a medical or a moral perspective, but what intrigues me is how one is so easily permitted to consume enough alcohol to sink a battleship in the first place!

Once I have had several jars of my favourite tipple I no longer care what damage I am doing to my liver & I have no desire whatsoever to stop drinking because I have gone past the so-called point of no return.
The worse for wear I maybe, but that does not stop the bartender from continuing to re-fill my glass.
The management have absolutely no intention of stopping me from drinking even more, provided I keep emptying my own & lining their pockets with hard cash.

And here come the pièce de résistance........inevitably one will come a cropper at some stage of proceedings, whether it's spilling yours or someone else's drink, accidentally bumping into a fellow patron, using inappropriate language or simply hitting the canvas like a pummelled boxer.

Once down the nearest exit beckons as a suited testosterone fuelled doorman plus radio & biceps the size of the average thigh dispatches you unceremoniously into the gutter, possibly minus a shoe & definitely with ones dignity in tatters!

Recently I was enjoying drinks in a local bar with some pals after spending the afternoon at a South London football stadium when one of us was 'thrown out' quite literally, for being 'intoxicated' ( but without any prior warning, not even a quiet word in the ear).

Bars should spend a bit more time man-managing, not man-handling its punters in an effort to prevent people getting ridiculously drunk in the first place!

Also they should take responsibility when their venue has stood back & watched their own punters get into a drunken stupor in the first place.

There is also an element of risk or even danger about leaving someone intoxicated & alone outside a drinking venue.

They may in addition to the typical behavioural anomalies associated with being drunk, such as being unstable on their feet be in a potentially vulnerable situation.

If for example they are left out in the dark of the night, are unfamiliar with the area, are inappropriately dressed for the weather or have a medical condition unbeknown to others - any of these predicaments could potentially lead to serious consequences. And what about if they are female clientele?

It’s about time watering holes had a long hard think about ways of controlling the amount of alcohol they allow to be consumed by drinkers, kept their eyes out for customers heading down the slippery slope before they finally fall off their bike & consider what could happen should they feel it necessary to remove someone from their premises & the implications that it might cause!


Prevention & detection are better than correction!

London BAR King - 'Apartment 195'

The King's Road is not an area I venture to very often, so when a pal of mine who had recently moved to the swish SW3 area of town asked me if I'd like to go there for 'house-warming drinks,' I was understandably more than happy to oblige.

But as the new pad was in the midst of some serious re-decoration, and was for want of a better word (and not mine) - a tip, I immediately had visions of an evening sitting on bare floors, supping from tins of Stella sporadically washed down with cashew nuts and black olives, whilst circumnavigating an assortment of building rigging.

I was therefore refreshingly pleased and relieved when asked to join for refreshments at 'Apartment 195.'

I was reliably told that it was the best bar in the area, and by all accounts is the place to be seen, until someone comes up with something even more daringly extravagant.

So I left work in The City on a 'school night' and headed for the heart of Chelsea.

Set on the first floor of a listed building overlooking King's Road, on arrival at 'Apartment 195' you need to press a buzzer to gain admittance, access is through a discreet entrance thus giving the impression that you are entering an elite members-only bar, but without the doorlist and the attitude.
In fact the welcome could be best described as extremely pleasant and accommodating.

The staff were friendly, not snooty and the other customers had come to relax and chat, not eye up what everyone else is wearing.
The lounge music was audible but not in a way as to interfere with your conversation.

Inside 'Apartment 195' is an upmarket cocktail and wine bar.
The main room features an open fireplace, huge Victorian bay windows and high ceilings, offset by the centrepiece - a six metre polished copper bar.

The walls are dark purple and adorned with contemporary art, and the chocolate brown leather settees and slate tables makes the setting more akin to a classy drawing room than a bar.

It is designed to look like a smoking salon in a gentleman's club, not that there was a smoking jacket or Cuban Havana in sight, not nowadays anyhow!


There are three rooms that are connected via different corridors and stairways making it feel all quite exciting and mysterious.

/The Lounge - the main room is big, comfortable and stylish with subdued lighting, which can accommodate in the region of 100 people.

/The Salon - overlooking Chelsea's most famous beer garden, is smaller and more intimate than the lounge. Elegant leather sofas are coupled with antique furniture and accommodates up to 25 people.

/The TV Room - is the ultimate chill out room. The great thing about the tv room is that it is off the main lounge, so it's there if you want it, but not in your face like so many big screen places.
Two retro style sofas arranged around a big screen, make this the ideal room for a 'night in'. A cosy area for up to 8 people.


There is a fantastic cocktail list, classic to contemporary or even alcohol free - all shaken up by attractive bar staff, great champagne, a large selection of fine wines, premium spirits and bottled beers.

The drinking is all about the cocktails. There are some 40 or so to choose from.
There is also a London-themed cocktail list which pays tribute to London's history and it's popular landmark's with such gems as Big Ben, The Changing Of The Guard, The London Eye and Speaker's Corner.
I kicked off the evening with a Lapin Kulta bottled beer and followed it up with a couple of cocktails including a classic Mojito and an 'Apartment 195' favourite, a Chinese Mule, a lime infused sake mixed with vodka, coriander, ginger and topped with ginger beer. Sublime!

Eating does not play a lead role but they do offer a delightful selection of canapes, such as Oriental Duck Pancakes, Serrano Ham Wrapped Figs, Smoked Salmon and Cream Cheese Bagels and Chilli Crab Cakes, if your booking a private function.

Available to hire, 'Apartment 195' makes for a cracking venue in which to host any day event, meeting or private party.



My Thoughts:

Cocktails to-die-for.
Relaxed almost seductive atmosphere, stylish milieu.
Great for an after work tipple or an informal party.
Frequented by a predominantly classy professional crowd.
Acceptably priced for the area.
Excellent service, with an attractive all-female staff behind the bar - need I go on!

Once you have experienced 'Apartment 195' for the first time you WILL be back!


Cocktails: from £7 each.
Wine: from £15 per bottle (£5 a glass).
Champagne: from £37 per bottle (£7.50 a glass).


'Apartment 195' is located on: 195-197 Kings Road, Chelsea,
London SW3 5ED.
Nearest tube: Sloane Square or South Kensington.
Opening Times: Mon to Sat: 4pm-11pm, Sun: 4pm-10.30pm
Dress: Smart casual, (leave the trainers at home)
Tel no: 020 7351 5195
Email: info@apartment195.co.uk
Available to hire for private parties.
Credit cards: Amex, Mastercard, Visa.

A Strictly Stressful Saturday!

I have come to a conclusion - Life is undeniably stressful on a continual basis, in otherwards all of the time!
Everybody is stressed 24/7, and the pressure to be successful is forever unforgiving!
Why is there so much emphasis on bringing home such a substantial slice of the bacon?
Is it in order to pay for.......the nanny, the chef, the housekeeper, the gardener, holidays to exotic far away destinations, the flash motor or two, the country retreat in Berkshire and the chalet in Verbier?

All for what? In a penny-pinching attempt to keep up with the Joneses.

That is of course in between the winter showers, the freezing days and nights, and all of the seven hours of daylight we get at this time of year!
Nobody has any spare time!
(Nobody has any manners! That is a whole subject in itself, but I'm not going down that road now, perhaps a topic for discussion at a later date).

Monday to Friday is habitually monotonous - up, work, home, eat, bed.....roll on the next day!

After a painfully busy first week in a new job that incorporated the standard 'virgin new boy' artificial pleasantries and introductions that accompany any new vocation, namely 'this is the coffee machine,' 'that's the bog,' 'meet the team' and the added bonus of 'we don't talk social topics of conversation to our fellow colleagues during office hours, irrespective of your persona.'

The reason, because these people are all so damm self-righteous, they live to work and do so assiduously, in between kissing the Company's backside.
All very noble......I think not!

Then only a few days into my first week the opening test of my own persona was bestowed upon me - 'The Xmas Work Bash' on Thursday evening, (where I must have known all of 3 people).
It was so appalling that I might just need counselling if I am ever to contemplate attending another one by choice!

Think Boy George meets the Spice Girls and allow a bunch of inebriated suits the opportunity to shrill, screech and whine away with the aid of a geriatric karaoke machine. Throw in some sesame toast and spring rolls smothered in acidic red ketchup, and wash it down with the poison of choice, tawdry vino and warm beer. All this on a dancefloor covered in rancid vomit.

Visualise, and the words cheap and nasty spring to mind!

And then to have to go into the office the next morning (Friday) pretending you enjoyed yourself and then finding yourself with no option but to agree with people you have never spoken to before (let alone know their names) that it was without a shadow of doubt the best soiree of the year - better than any Hollywood showbiz shin dig of the modern era.
Yawn!

The euphoria I felt as the clocked ticked around to 5.30pm on Friday was short lived for by the time I rocked up at home I felt too dog-tired to go out socially, and with the usual chores to do before footy on Saturday praying on my mind I decided on a relatively early night, so I could wake up fresh as a daisy in the morning and raring to go!

But I overslept on Saturday and time was against me. I looked at my 'to do' list, attempted to prioritize my chores and off I went with purpose.....initially.

First stop, the barbers, but inevitably on a Saturday there is a queue, not a substantial one, but a wait of sorts. As I leave I look at my watch and the pressure is on. I'm running late now.
The wait combined with not getting up as early as I had intended meant I had no time to do anything else.
I was due to meet the boys in a pub in South Norwood before the game at about 1pm for a bevy, and to watch our South London rivals, the Addicks hopefully get tonked by the Albion in the lunchtime kick-off on Sky.

The combination of heavy Xmas traffic and the propensity of public transport to let you down ( particularly it seems when you require it most) added to the frustration, and meant I arrived later than planned at the pub and as a result was faced with a heaving, dogged throng of like minded fans all wanting the same thing - beer!

To the match. 1-0 down early on to the Yorkies of Wednesday and the day was already spiraling inordinately downhill at rollercoater pace.
Wednesday fans are giving us plenty of stick but then we get an equalizer and a bit of respite.
In the 2nd half the tension mounts, the opposition graze the woodwork twice and Speroni dives full length to tip one over the bar - are we heading for a first defeat in eight games.....and thus spending the evening looking pitifully into the bottom of our post match beer glass for an answer?
No, because 17 yr old Sean Scannell comes to the rescue and gets the Eagles' winning goal a minute from time, with a sublime chip.

We breathe a huge sigh of relief, combined with a slight sense of 'we got out of jail' & then the inevitable elation that accompanies any positive result.
Off back to the pub to meet the boys again, one of whom has just become a father for the first time.
Who needs an excuse but we had one......lets paint the town red (& blue).

We leave sumptuous South Norwood about 7pm and headed at pace for the salubrious surroundings of The London Borough of Bromley.
Anyway three of us did, as we hailed a taxi to take us to one of our regular haunts.

Ten minutes later we were inside and comfortably perched at the bar.
We sank a few more pints, nailed some shots, toasted baby Alice umpteen times and then proceeded to get thrown out!
Ok so we were a little the worse for wear, but we were behaving, our language was clean and we were generally minding our own business.
It wasn't like we were manhandling the ladies, nicking other peoples drinks or riding unicycles through the bar whilst fire-eating.

Anyway there we are standing on the pavement outside scratching our heads - did we really get chucked out and if so why?
So I walked up to the entrance ushered to one of the meatheads on the door, who was then immediately joined by a fellow meathead and said in basic Anglo-Saxon English, 'Why did u throw us all out?'
I then said relatively calmly, 'my pal has just become a father and we were wetting the baby's head.'
He tells me my pal was asleep on the bar. 'No I said he did at one stage have his hands against his ears and elbows on the bar, but he wasn't asleep and so what?'

Feeling a little peeved and forlorn the three of us dejectedly trudged away shaking our heads in disbelief at the turn of events!

My pals and I on the odd occasion used to get thrown out of bars when we were in our teens & twenties, not in our forties!
So financially light and brassed off we headed our separate ways home and it was still only 10.30pm or thereabouts!

What a farce?

You go out to enjoy yourself, you're not bothering anyone, you're relaxing in good company and the above happens.

As I made my way home I considered my day.......then I reflected on all the stress, strain, tension, frustration, conflict, hassle, pressure and anxiety that had multiplied itself throughout the day.
It was a Saturday, no work, the opportunity to socialise with friends, watch footy, have a beer, and generally unwind.
The CHANCE to enjoy yourself away from the Monday to Friday rat race. FAT CHANCE!

As I neared my front door, Sunday was almost upon me, and I had calculated that there were only nine shopping days remaining until Xmas and I hadn't yet sent a card, let alone bought any presents!

Ok I'm a guy and we don't multi-task (according to women & scientists that is) and ok maybe, and perhaps in some people's eyes I had got my priorities wrong.
Maybe I should have forgone my real passion on a Saturday - not going to footy and meeting up with my pals, and instead gone Xmas shopping with the rest of the planet. But no I work all week, get up at 5.30 each morning, am I not supposed to use my weekends to do things I don't normally get to do in the week like socialize (work get-togethers definitely do NOT count).

With all the pressure and stress of my own weekend up to thus point, which had not included anything along the lines of shopping, household chores, or preparing for Xmas etc, I think work MIGHT in fact be more conducive to normality than one realizes!

Its predictable, admittedly dull, sometimes repetitive, but you know where you stand, what to expect, what time you start and finish, and of course it pays the bills......like next year's season ticket!

Anyway I'll be there next Saturday, at football that is, not doing chores or Xmas shopping!

Fashionably Fed-Up!

On a busy commuter train home from London the other evening I overheard a fascinating conversation between two middle-aged guys.
One was telling the other how he had been out in a bar the previous evening, and an attractive vivacious woman he had never met before came up to him completely out of the blue and openly asked him if he was a Londoner.
Before he could answer she said, "You must be, you look fed-up."

People pre-suppose the hypothesis that smiling is good for you because it makes you appear more attractive!
I suppose it is probably safe to say smiling temporarily relieves stress, and by smiling it in turn raises the cheekbones and reduces that wrinkled effect on the face that tends to be associated with a puckered brow.

I presume the logic behind this theory emanates from the hip, sun soaked, well chiselled plastic fantastic inhabitants of Cali-for-ni-a, who have never done the 'commuting lark' on a daily basis!

Some of the world's so called most attractive men are a bunch of cantankerous morose individuals.
Take actors Clive Owen and Colin Firth, or ex-Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho. They all have contorted faces that ooze pain and anguish, as if they are required to help solve or ease the issues of third world debt!

Some of the world's most gorgeous or lusted after women have or have had partners with visibly grumpy faces.
Look no further than Madonna's hubby Guy Richie or Kate Moss's ex squeeze Pete Doherty and her latest flame James Hince. All of them sour faced and glum looking.

So perhaps smiling is 'overrated.'

If you go to a bar in London and stand there looking bored, at best irritated you become the 'object of desire' - sophisticated, powerful with an air of supremacy.
It has almost become acceptable to display an aloofness towards someone who has caught your eye by pretending not to notice them or by ignoring them. A form of reverse psychology.

Perhaps 'rejection is fast becoming an aphrodisiac'

So if your keen look mean!

Now I don't smile a great deal myself and I know this for a fact because for years it has been remarked upon, although more often than not it has been done so in a polite manner rather than a vulgar or critical one.

So after hearing this two-way conversation on the chuffer, on my arrival home I immediately headed straight for the bathroom.
I turned on the light switch above my shaving mirror rather than the main one.
I feel it works as a safety net mechanism by diluting the intensity of what the main light might reveal.
However I still couldn't hide from my reflection. I was indeed looking awful - gaunt, haggard, drawn, ghost like, macabre!

Yes I WAS definitely looking at the 'epitome of a native Londoner.'

London BAR King - 'Paradise By Way Of Kensal Green'

After an unutterable quantity of sport and alcohol this weekend I decided on Sunday to try and ease my gargantuan hangover at the curiously named 'Paradise by Way of Kensal Green' public house on Kilburn Lane, West London.

For the record I established the name is in fact from the final line of a poem called 'The Rolling English Road' by G. K. Chesterton.

Anyway the purpose of my Sunday jaunt, particularly in my rather fragile disposition was to join the pub regulars at the recently introduced 'Bloody Mary Sunday Club' in the delusional hope of installing life into my......lifeless body!

It sounds fine until like a piece of DIY furniture you examine it in more detail and then decide that this is going to be a little trickier than one initially anticipated.

The reason being that when you go in and ask for a Bloody Mary they ask you which of eight recipes you want.....and then if you would like to make your own!!!
For heavens sake when did a bartender last ask you to pour your own pint?

It's just far too much to try to cope with!

So instead I opted for a chilled glass of Chablis from the impressively extensive drinks list, took a look at the food menu, then scrutinized the surroundings and atmosphere for good measure.

The food menu could be best described as modern, Mediterranean stroke Asian, but refreshingly resonant with its traditional British cuisine on Sunday lunchtimes.
The food coming out from the kitchen looked impressive without being pretentious.

The atmosphere was relaxed and the crowd could be best described as mixed!

As for the interior, well the décor is gloriously chaotic.
It could be described as flamboyantly tasteless and alarmingly garish to the extent of oozing vulgarity.
Wandering across the sanded floor boards into the calming lime-green interior you’ll notice capriciously placed plaster angels and solid urns dotted about as if placed there on a whim.
The walls are covered in an assortment of numerous modern canvases with funky chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, casting shadowy halos over the bohemian interior. In the midst of all this obvious manifestation of expression, Paradise still hangs on to a welcome trace of British pub.

For fans of the great outdoors they have a garden with heaps of character and a terrace area, thus creating the perfect all year round hang out.

A quirky, wacky kind of venue. The type of place you might go once a month if you wanted something a tad different, or your local had gone a bit stale!
It's an experience......full of atmosphere, with a wide-ranging selection of beers, wines and cocktails. The food looked good, and then of course there is always the 'Bloody Mary Sunday Club.'


'Paradise By Way Of Kensal Green' is located on: 19 Kilburn Lane, London W10 4AE
Nearest tubes: Kensal Green or Queen's Park.
Opening Times: Mon to Thurs: 12.30pm-Midnight,
Fri and Sat: 12.30pm-02:00, Sun: Noon-23.30

Food served: Mon to Sat: 12.30-16.00 and 19.30-23.00, Sun: Noon-21.00
Children allowed.

Awayday Jolly - The Sweet Smell Of Saintcess!

With the lack of material on this site of late, due to my pc packing up I now have an opportunity to share with you a recent event that was indeed the buzz I felt on the opening day of the new footy season.
It arrived on Saturday 11th August and it did so in style, as myself and around 3,000 other Crystal Palace supporters headed down to the South-Coast on a balmy late summers day.

The day began about 10.30am when I met my pal Kevin at East Croydon train station for the first stage of the the journey to Southampton (Saufamptonne, if your from Sauf London of course) wearing my club colours, with a copy of a red top newspaper under one arm and a four-pack of lager under the other.
We hopped on a train to Clapham Junction to join the fast service to Southampton Central.
On our arrival at CJ we were greeted by a throng of red and blue shirts lining the platform. It was if we had hired a 'private' train to ourselves.
I felt the buzz inside of me. The new season was upon us!

It may have been a Saturday but as with most train journeys nowadays there were no seats.....well there were seats, but they were all taken!
In fact in truth we had to push and squeeze ourselves just to get onto the train itself. The doorways were packed with suitcases, anything up to three or four feet high.
Most generous of the travelling tourists we thought as some of us climbed up onto them and sat precariously on the mounds of luggage, necking the first beer of the day.
The look on the owners of the suitcases was priceless. Their faces dropped like canines that had lost their bones. But they were not going to say anything!
Confront a group footy fans on a train, necking beer in between exercising our vocal cords for the match ahead. Far too intimidating I would guess.
More fool them for any one of us would have respectively relinquished our hazardous positions if asked.
The majority of us either sat on the floor or lent on each other, the space was so limited!

One hour 20 minutes later, we arrived at Southampton Central and having joined up with some of our other pals at CJ or as we were being ferried out of the station we only had one thing on our minds - liquid refreshment,( it was a hot day!). We decided to head straight for the town centre rather than get the shuttle bus to the ground - it was only about 12.30 for goodness sake, and we had also made a loose arrangement to meet some more pals in a bar called 'The Standing Order.'
Anyway off we purposefully strode bypassing the cultural sights which rendered zero on the Richter scale, but the humour and banter was top draw all the way.

Now this bar was supposedly a 10 minute walk away from the station, smack bang in the middle of the town centre. Simple enough one would have thought, but oh no, half an hour later and gagging for a drink we found ourselves still aimlessly and vacantly wandering around the streets hopelessly looking for the bar in question. We had politely asked the well dressed locals of the town, who in turn just pointed and told us to keep walking, so we re-grouped and decided to pursue an alternative method of finding this particular venue.
Who did we feel would know the location of the local pubs and bars best?
Yes the local 'down and outs.' So we approached a couple of guys fitting a description not dissimilar and they couldn't have been more helpful or more precise.
Having discovered 'The Standing Order' was a part of the JD Weatherspoon chain they not only told us where to find this particular pub but also 'The Bright Water Inn' and 'The Giddy Bridge' also owned by the same chain.
They were quite charming, and we were most grateful in turn.
Five minutes later we arrived. The pub had a good mix of rival fans, the banter was light-hearted, the sun was out, the beer was flowing and it was just under two hours to kick-off!

As the time approached to move on and head for St. Mary's we all agreed to disagree as to the best way to get to the stadium. As a result it became a case of see you at the game, as some stayed to keep on re-fueling, others slopped off to look for a taxi, while myself, Kevin and six others left and headed in the same direction all the other fans were going.
To be fair this time we found ourselves on course, and even had time to stop off in 'The Anchor,' an old-fashioned ale pub for one final pre-match livener.
Although obviously outnumbered by about eight to one, a sea of red and blue was highly evident and the fans were in good voice, as we approached the impressive St. Mary's stadium. We walked around the outside of the ground to join the near 3,000 Palace fans in the Northam Stand.

Let the game commence!
We were sitting behind the goal in line with the corner flag, the Saint's fans were no more than 50 yards away to our left, and we gave them some stick from the very first minute. In fact we didn't sit down all through the game as what was to follow you usually only dream of.
Southampton, one of the favourites to go up, at home and up against Crystal Palace, 25-1 outsiders to win the Championship....we said on the way down we would settle for a point.
I don't think Taylor or the players had read the script, and the most unlikely of heroes emerged in the shape of James Scowcroft. Five goals in total for the whole of last season, he scored twice in a minute in the first half as Palace took control and the Saint's defence played like something out of a 'Wickes' advertisement. We looked very comfortable, but watching Palace is the ultimate rollercoaster, and in injury time in the first half Southampton nicked a goal back.
2-1 at half-time but as we queued for a lash and more alcoholic refreshment ( yes this was a stadium where the facilities meant you could achieve both during the interval ) you could sense murmurs of discontent among the fans.
Before the game all of us would have settled for a 2-1 lead at half-time but in a bizarre kind of way we felt we had thrown away our advantage by conceding late on in the half.

The second-half began, you could sense the Southampton fans felt their team could turn this one around, but our fans were still in good voice and we looked reasonably in control. Speroni had to tip one over as he had done equally athletically in the first half, but otherwise Southampton to be honest offered little more.
Then with about 20 minutes of the second-half gone it was not a case of whether the Eagles were going to win but by how many!
Scowcroft hit his third, his first hat-rick since 1998, and a couple of minutes later Saint's fans began to leave as Morrisson made it four.
We were delirious, we childishly waved good-bye to the opposing fans, sung our hearts out to the final whistle and at the end gave our players a fantastic round of applause.
How often do you go away from home, on the opening day of the season, watch your team win 4-1 against supposedly far superior opposition, on a beautiful sunny day and..........it doesn't get much better!
We all went for a couple of celebratory beers in a pub not far from the station before heading back to London.

But the night was young!
Four of us went back to East Croydon, headed for the 'Porter & Sorter' next to the station, sank a few more libations before deciding what to do next!
Kevin and I were now really reved up, so we said our good-byes and headed into Beckenham to party on. Still in Palace colours and pretty hammered we thought we would probably get thrown out of anywhere before we got in, but no it was only about 8.30pm and Patrick's bar let us in as if we were regulars.
Now it has to be said that this is a bar with a signed and framed Palace shirt hanging up, so maybe we had made a good choice.

Feeling elated and on cloud nine from such a cracking day out Kevin suggests it's time to wheel out the plastic and pop the champagne to celebrate. Not wishing to spoil the moment, he duly comes back from the bar, ice bucket, flutes, bubbly and........spouts those immortal words, 'Ladies would you like a glass,' as we suddenly 'seemed' to have become very popular in a heaving bar in the space of a few minutes.
A couple of middle-aged drunken footy fans under the influence maybe, but sober enough to enjoy the moment.
The night went on in much the same vain and they had to literally kick us out in the early hours of Sunday morning.

The only problem was we were probably two of 150 other people in the proximity all wanting a minicab home.
At this point we decided to draw stumps, it was late, well early to be precise and we each went our separate ways and 'walked' home.
It was nearly 4am when I hit the sack but what more can I say except......

Great Game!
Great Fans!
Great Day!

London BAR King - 'Dirty Martini'

Last time I sat down to write a piece on drinking in London it was 'Flaming April.' Perhaps that was the kiss of death as the venue I suggested was al fresco on a moored boat.
Now nearly three months on, after enough rain to have sunk the vessel in question, and in typical pessimistic fashion I have decided to write off this so called 'Summer' (all due of course to global warming and my larger than life carbon footprint!!!!!!!!!!)
A more apposite experience all things considered might be to therefore venture below 'sea' level in order to find liquid sustenance.

May I suggest then getting down to 'Dirty Martini' in Covent Garden, as I did last Thursday.
This idyllic intimate milieu is ideal if you want to avoid being seen (maybe its our caveman instincts), but sometimes you want to go out and circumvent the goldfish bowl experience aka that of a large, uncomfortably busy, ear-splitting, boisterous bar or pub.

'Dirty Martini' is in Russell Street, and although it is right in the centre of the tourist zone and literally only yards from the market itself, it is unexpectedly chic.
The lighting is cool. Being an underground retreat it is dim and moody with the odd splash of blue uplighting here and there.
The booths are lined with burgundy leather sofas and low stools and there are areas of bare brickwork in amongst mirror clad columns.
All this gives it a dark almost eerie effect, but at the same time it also helps generate a tranquil, serene, almost calming atmosphere.

Not surprisingly at 'Dirty Martini' the tipple of choice is the 'martini' itself, and boy oh boy do they know how to mix one.
Having been a cocktail bartender in a former life, a martini has minimal ingredients but is a 'bastard' to make..... WELL!

They have a 'happy four hours' from 5pm to 9pm and a first-rate martini in The West End for £3.95 is plenty good reason to get down and dirty!

Fit To Drink...If You Care! - All Inclusive Beer Almanac- Summer is almost upon us!Good news for Beer Drinkers that care

After sex, there's nothing most guys think about more than-a tall, cool one. And for good reasons. That refreshing amber blend of hops and grain may be the most perfect liquid creation known to man. That s why, in celebration of lagers, ales, pilsners everywhere, here is 'The All-Inclusive Beer Almanac.'
It's a guide designed to enlighten you to all the ways your favorite-beverage can improve your life [beyond just helping you escape it for a few hours). Read, Retain & and relax. Your next round is covered.

SIX PACK ABS

BELLY UP TO THE BAR--WITHOUT THE DAMNED BEER BELLY

A love of beer and the ability to maintain washboard abs are not mutually exclusive. You can have both. And there's science to back it up. When researchers in the Czech Republic (a country known for having the greatest per capita beer consumption on the planet) studied the beer-guzzling habits of a group of men and women riving within the region, they found absolutely no evidence that drinking beer makes for flabbier abs. Within reason, of course.

The point of the study wasn't that you can drink as much beer as you want without getting fat-because you can't. Calories are calories, regardless of where they're coming from. Rather, the significance of the study is it shows that drinking beer is not a pre-requisit to accumulating fat around your abdomen. Keep your calories in check throughout the day by altering what you eat or by burning off a few hundred extra, and you should have no problem staying lean while also getting moderately smashed.
Here's how:

START THE NIGHT RIGHT

Planning on partying? A balanced meal before an evening at the bar will help fill you up-And, since food slows the absorption of alcohol, a well-timed meal can help minimize the severity of hangovers.) Aim for a good mix of protein and high-fiber carbs--a small whole-wheat sandwich plus a piece of fruit is ideal. Besides helping slightly slow down the rate at which you chug, a quick meal will also keep your hunger under control later in the evening--when your resolve is at its weakest - to avoid devouring fattening, stodgy mid-evening bar snacks or late night kebabs . Why does that matter? In a study from Denmark, researchers found that guys who sat down to all-you-can-eat meals ate significantly more when they drank beer or wine with their food than when they ate while sober.

BUDGET YOUR CALORIES

As drinkers go, beer fans have the upper hand on maintaining a lean bod. That's because, with beer, it's easy to keep tabs on the number of calories you're taking in: approximately 300 in a pint of regular beer. Sipping cocktails, on the other hand, is a much greater challenge. A booze-laden Long Island Iced Tea, for example, can set you back more than 500 calories--the equivalent of a Big Mac. And unless you make the drink yourself, it's almost impossible to know what you're getting, since the ratio of sugary mixers and alcohol can vary so much. Use that knowledge to your advantage when you hit the bar and calculate just how many calories you can afford to blow.

DRINK TWICE AS MUCH

Double-fisted drinking is never a bad thing--especially when your other drink is water or diet soda. Non-alcoholic drinks can help keep your partying in check by slowing down the speed at which you inhale your true beverage of choice. And nobody's even likely to notice what you're doing if you time your orders right. Start your evening with a bottle of water and a load of abuse from your pals with your first drink of the evening, and use it to quench your thirst. Then move on to your beer. Keep ordering both throughout the evening so you always have the ability to alternate between the two. The only rule: Don't place a new order until both your bottles are empty. That way, you can drink all night long--and end up taking in half as many calories as you normally would. Cut back just four pints of beer a week and you'll save yourself the caloric equivalent of nearly nine pounds of fat in a year.

ERASE THE EVIDENCE

Despite your best intentions, there are always going to be times when you slip up and do overindulge. But don't take the damage lying down. Fight back and hit the gym. Or head outside. We've rounded up 10 relatively quick and easy ways for an average 150-pound guy to burn away an extra 300 calories--the equivalent of two or three beers. (Heavier guys can do slightly less work and burn a bit more.)

ACTIVITY TIME

Cycling (10 mph) 50 minutes

Running/jogging (5 mph) 30 minutes

Soccer (competitive) 30 minutes

Swimming 43 minutes
(slow freestyle laps)

Walking (4.5 mph) 48 minutes

Gardening 50-55 minutes
(mowing the lawn)


Golfing (walking and 67 minutes
carrying clubs)

Boxing (punching bag) 50 minutes


21.5

Number of gallons of beer the average guy drinks each year, compared with just 2.3 gallons of wine and 1.4 gallons of alcohol spirits.

Good for What Ales You

Beer doesn't just taste good--it's also good for you. The key, however, is moderation. A few brews every night and you get the potent mix of alcohol and hops researchers have shown can help with everything from fighting disease to keeping your heart in peak condition. (Too much, of course, and you end up an alcoholic with a liver that's as hard as a pony keg.) For optimal benefits, aim for one to two pints a day--. (Although you shouldn't overdo it nightly, a few extra bevies on Fridays and Saturdays probably won't hurt.) Aside from giving you a well-deserved buzz, all that drinking should help you to...

REDUCE YOUR RISK FOR HEART ATTACK AND STROKE | Drinking beer has been shown to raise HDL cholesterol (the good kind), reduce the formation of artery-clogging blood clots, and quell the inflammation that can contribute to heart disease.

FIGHT TYPE-2 DIABETES | In a 12-year study of more than 46,000 men, researchers at Harvard found that guys who drank moderately had a 36% lower risk of diabetes than those who didn't drink at all.

DODGE ALZHEIMER'S | Drinking doesn't just ease your stress, it could help keep you sane. When researchers at Boston's Beth Israel Hospital University compared the mental health of people who drink with that of people who don't, they found that folks who imbibed one to six drinks a week were significantly more likely to keep their marbles later in life than those who didn't.

BUILD STRONGER BONES | The hops in beer supply the body with a hefty dose of silicon--a mineral that's crucial for maintaining both density and strength of bones.

CANCEL OUT CANCER | Beer is packed with polyphenols--potent plant compounds that have been shown to help slow the growth of cancer cells and boost the body's production of cancer-fighting enzymes. The darker the brew, the more polyphenols it packs.
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BAR BEER BEHAVIOR

FIVE TIPS TO MAXIMIZE BEER ENJOYMENT AT THE BAR

* Going to break the seal? Put your napkin or coaster on top of your glass--that way, the bartender will know you're coming back and won't clear your spot.

* Tired of the coaster or napkin slicking to the bottom of your beer and then falling into your lap every time you take a chug? Sprinkle some salt on the coaster and it'll stay put.

* Want the best service? Tip as you go--and don't just drop pocket change. As little as a buck a beer will ensure your beer mug is never empty. (If you think that's too steep, consider that the average tip is I5%, 20%, and most beers are in the $4-$5 range.)

* Beer too cold? "Most U.S. draft beer is about live degrees too cold, particularly if you want to enjoy a beer with a bigger flavor profile," says Sam Adams founder and brewer. Jim Koch. His solution: Simply wrap your hands around the glass or bottle for one to two minutes.

* Too much foam? Sprinkle some salt in your beer to reduce the carbonation.

* Wondering why you always get so much head? (On your beer, that is.) It's because you dump your beer bottle into the center of the mug, which causes the carbon dioxide to release too fast. Instead, tilt your mug and slowly pour the beer down the side of the glass. By the time you hit the top, you'll have a perfect half inch of foam. If you're pouring beer from a tap, use the same technique, but be sure to pull the tap handle all the way out. Ask any bartender: The No. 1 mistake amateurs make is to pull the tap handle out halfway, which results in all head--and in this case, that's a bad thing.

STRANGE

FIVE UNUSUAL BEERS YOU GOTTA TRY

1 THE MOST POTENT: Sam Adams Utopias | At 50 proof, this brew is ranked by Guinness World Records as the world's strongest beer. With no carbonation and a malty, maple-syrup flavor that's similar to that of port wine, it's more like a fine sipping liqueur than a chuggable beer. It's currently available in select liquor stores and on eBay, but you can expect to see another release of this aged batch in the near future.

2 THE SPICIEST: Cave Creek Chili Beer I With a real chili pepper in each bottle, this Arizona brew is hot. More of a novelty beer, it will burn a hole in your stomach if you drink more than one or two. Check your local liquor stores.

3 THE MOST UN-BEERLIKE: Lindermans Kriek Cherry Lambic | This dark red, Belgian beer is almost like a cherry soda: sweet, highly carbonated, and distinctly cherry-flavored. But it still has that dry under-taste that lets you know it's a beer. You can find Lindemans in most liquor stores.

4 BEER WITH A KICK: Dogfish Head Chicory Stout I Remember when Drew Carey created Buzz beer, a mix of coffee and beer? The brewing world took note and came out with this Delaware stout. Made with roasted chicory, organic Mexican coffee, and licorice root, this brew is rich and spiced, with a definite coffee aftertaste and even a hint of cloves. Visit dogfish.com to find distributors in your area.

5 JUST PLAIN UNQUE: Rogue Chipotle Ale I From the home of the brewpub, this Oregon ale is made with chipotle chilies for a smoky, slightly bitter flavor. You barely taste the chipotle ... at first. Just wait-you get a nice little kick about five seconds after you swallow. Look for the brew in most liquor stores.

WE ASKED YOU: WHAT'S THE BEST CURE
FOR A HANGOVER? YOUR RESPONSES:

Time 26%
Pedialyte or Gatorade 18%
Hair of the dog (more beer) 16%
Plenty of water 14%
Diner food (cheeseburger and shake) 8%
Vitamin 5%
Tomato juice 3%
Steam room/hot shower 2%
Soup 2%
Pizza 2%
other 4%





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NEW ARTICLE Below to incorporate
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Take heed all you beer lovers. It is now a proven fact that beer -- yes, BEER -- can provide the same health benefits as wine. No matter what type of ale you prefer, studies show that drinking beer in moderation (up to 2 drinks a day for us guys) can and will reduce your chances of strokes, as well as heart and vascular disease.

It's called the French Paradox -- the link between the low rate of heart disease among the French and their fat-laden diet was a daily dosage of red wine. Well, there's no denying the results of that study. But what the public doesn't know is that the health value of beer has been known, documented and applied for centuries. But there are folks out there who don't want you to know about it (I wonder why).

wine vs. beer


According to Mr. Jim Anderson, wine connoisseur, "When you compare the raw ingredients that go into wine and beer, you'll find that wine, on one hand, is made purely from grapes, water and yeast. Grapes are a fine source of sugars, fiber and chromium, but few of those things survive the fermentation and filtering process. Yeast has loads of complex B vitamins, but again, they do not appear in the final product due to filtering."

Beer, on the other hand, is made from grains, water and yeast. Grains commonly used are barley and wheat (with cheaper, mass-produced beers relying on corn and rice), both of which are loaded with a variety of vitamins that survive the fermentation and filtering process. And the vitamin value of the yeast is conserved in the hundreds of unfiltered beers that are on the market -- both on tap and in bottles.

interesting tidbits about beer



Tidbit #1
In November of 1999, The New England Journal of Medicine stated that light to moderate beer drinkers would decrease their chances of suffering a stroke by 20%. They also stated that those who drink one beer a day compared to those who drink one beer a week experience no difference in reducing stroke risks.

Tidbit #2
The University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas (May 1999) reported that consuming moderate amounts of beer would lower one's chances of coronary heart disease by 30-40%, compared to those who don't drink at all. (Beer contains a similar amount of 'polyphenols' -- antioxidants -- as red wine and 4-5 times as many polyphenols as white wine).

Tidbit #3
Alcohol has also been attributed to increasing the amount of good cholesterol (HDL) in the bloodstream, as well as helping to decrease blood clots.

Tidbit #4
Beer contains vitamin B6, which prevents the build-up of the amino acid homocysteine, that has been linked to heart disease. Those of us who have high levels of homocysteine are usually more prone to an early onset of heart and vascular disease.

Tidbit #5
A new study performed at the TNO Nutrition and Food Research Institute in Utrecht indicates that those who drink beer had no increase in their homocysteine level, but those who drank wine or liquor had an increase of up to 10%.

Tidbit #6
Beer provides a 30% increase in vitamin B6 into the blood plasma -- something that neither wine nor any other liquor can do.

Tidbit #7
Beer is both fat-free and cholesterol-free.

Tidbit #8
Beer has a relaxing effect on the body thereby reducing stress and helping you sleep better.

Tidbit #9
Beer has proven to have positive effects on elderly people. It helps promote blood vessel dilation, sleep and urination.

what exactly is beer?



An average beer contains the following:


0 mg cholesterol
0 g fat
13 g carbohydrate
25 mg sodium
protein, calcium, potassium, phosphorus, and vitamins B, B2, and B6
alcohol

Sounds too good to be true? Not really. Considering beer was first used as a homeopathic remedy back in the good old days of the Egyptian Pharaohs thousands of years ago, things haven't changed much.

The only problem nowadays is the sad fact that several irresponsible people drink more than they should, and sobriety becomes a discarded word. Although I have listed the many good things about beer, there are also several negative aspects that I am obliged to caution you about: liver disease, obesity and alcoholism.

Of course, these adverse reactions would not occur if beer were drunk in moderation. Being responsible is always the key to having fun with friends and enjoying a nice cold glass of beer. I, for one, am going to have a beer and think that over.

London BAR King - 'The Tattershall Castle'

As I sit here writing this post the sun is shinning, and in doing so it is also showing up my 'dirty looking' apartment windows.' On reflection I don't remember having seen my window cleaner for a good two months now, maybe more!
He is always banging on your door if you owe him a few quid, which doesn't bother me surprisingly, as he is quite a character and a betting man too.
He often gives me a horse to back which is a dead cert, although as everyone who enjoys a flutter knows - there is in fact no such thing.
However he bets big boys dosh and he wouldn't give you a donkey to back unless he had heard a whisper for it from someone on the inside.

The seasonal good weather means only two things to many. Firstly, the gyms are packed with once a year male members trying to lose their man-boobs, before they dare to unveil there shiny white torsos for the first time in six months, along with that group of fitness obsessed middle-aged women, who have been going to the gym 3 or 4 times a week forever, in the feint hope that once more this Summer they can get away with wearing a belt for a skirt and a crop top to expose their belly piercing!
Grow old gracefully I say, and that's coming from my goodself, a once upon a time gym fanatic and qualified fitness instructor.

What is it with women that when you ask them what social activities they enjoy the 'gym' is always in the top three, with the other two being swimming and pilates!

The 'gym' was once upon a time a home from home for men, where they could go to effectively preserve their masculinity and lift some weights in between chatting to other guys of the same ilk about 'man' things.

Secondly the tanning salons are empty as people try to achieve the 'real deal' even in April.

But in my world good weather means the opportunity to enjoy a bevy outdoors in the sunshine, be it in a beer garden or your own garden.
In my eyes take the opportunity now....who knows when we will see any good weather again....tomorrow, in a week, in a month!

Alternatively how about having a glass of something ON The Tattershall Castle.
Moored on the Thames, this refurbished old paddle steamer is a good place to go if your looking for a change of scenery and venue.
Drink up on the deck while the heat of the sun allows, whilst enjoying the panoramic backdrop of the London Eye, Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament, then toddle off down below as the sun sets and it starts to cool off.
For those looking for a 'big night in' there is also a night club on board which stays open into the early hours.
Ideally located, 2 minutes walk from Embankment tube station, 5 minutes or so from Charing Cross mainline station, and only a 10-15 minute walk from the boat itself into the West End or Soho.

'The Tattershall Castle' makes for a great meeting place. It's very informal and relaxed, and with the sun on your back, a beer in your hand and the great views of London, it is a must-go venue for an early evening or post-work libation.

London BAR King - 'Black Gardenia'

I realise looking at my blog 'Beer Footy and Birds!' that it is fundamentally flawed. The emphasis is most definitely on footy and birds and less so on beer.
As a result I am going to try to rectify this by emBARking on bringing you a short but regular guide to where's hot and where's not in the drinking capital of the world.

To kick things off I would like to bring to your attention a newly opened bar in Soho called the 'Black Gardenia,' formally the Push Bar.
It's situated on 93 Dean Street, London W1 and is now very much a cool yet distinctive, almost moody, cavern style milieu. It offers a diverse miscellany of forties, fifties and sixties tunes, and is open until 1am.
No jeans are allowed, the garb is bordering on vintage, almost Retro and the more vintage your attire the more you will fit in.

A cracking bar. Well worth a visit whatever your vogue.